Ruby and the Blowfish

This is my first attempt to use a webcam. Basically I rant about Discogs, pufferfish, and why I dislike contemporary Christian music. I oversimplify a few key concepts, but I only had 10 minutes. Besides, I wasn't trying to make a documentary... just clowning for the camera!

Before assembling your BJÖRNHOLMEN: The Ikea People demystified

1. Never attempt to dry-hump a parallelogram on your own. Your charming curly-haired friend should be only too happy to assist. It helps if he's naked too.

2. There's no need to fall to your knees in despair if your bevelled three-dimensional object begins to crumble from neglect! A little TLC will set everything right. Try fondling it on a fringed area rug. Be sure to leave one hand free to scratch your butt.

3. Unsure as to whether or not your awkwardly stacked geometric figures truly appreciate your accordion serenades? Plug your phone into the nearest Ikea! You'll be happy you did.

Now... let the assembly begin.